*****FIVE HILARIOUS, FUNNY, COMICAL, PRICELESS, AMUSING, ENTERTAINING, FANTASTIC STARS*****
“I shouldn't be allowed to think when I'm drinking.”
Excuse me one moment whilst I stop laughing, wipe my laughter tears and get ensure I have not, in fact, pee'd my pants.
Yes - it was THAT FUNNY!!
Claire is a young college student who still has her V Card and she is determined to shed the badge and join the real world.
Carter is a hot (think smokin' hot!) guy who goes to a frat party one night and runs head first into a STUNNING girl.
Add alcohol, lust, more alcohol, beer pong, small talk, more alcohol and you have a recipie for Fumbling Sex and the loss of Claire's virginity.
Claire leaves before Carter wakes up without getting his name, shoe size or phone number.
Claire is happy to have lost her virginity.
Claire is happy to have lost her virginity to a SEX ON LEGS guy.
Claire is pregnant.
“All the baby books written by women who had the most perfect birth experience in the world said you should talk to your child in the womb. That was about the only piece of advice I took from those things. Every day I told him if he ruined my vagina I would video tape his birth and show all his future girlfriends what happened to your who-ha when you had sex, ensuring that he will never, ever get laid.”
Fast forward four years and you have Claire living in her home town with the FUNNIEST kid in the world.
“Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they cut your wiener,” Gavin sang as he pointed his gun at random objects.
“Wow, cops have gotten pretty hardcore lately”
“Right when my fingers started to slip inside my underwear, I opened my eyes and screamed. "HOLY SHIT!" My son stood there next to the bed just staring at me. Seriously, two inches from my face just staring at me like those creepy twins in "The Shining." I waited for him to start saying, "Come play with us" in their freaky twin voices while I tried not to have a heart attack. "Gavin, seriously. You can't just stand here and stare at mommy. It's weird," I grumbled as I put my hand to my aching head and tried to calm my pounding heart. Sweet Jesus, who kicked me in the head and shit in my mouth last night? "You said a bad word, Mommy,”
Claire and her best friend, Liz, set up a business together - Seduction & Snacks.
Claire bakes the snacks...
“Money can't buy happiness but it can buy chocolate, which is kind of the same thing.”
Liz sells the Sex Toys...
“I was going to have to tell people I got fired from selling dildos. I can't even sell fake cocks to a room full or horny women. How do you come back from that shit?”
That's all I'm giving you!
This is a complete and utter ROMP of a read.
This is a must read.
Just go buy it, Trust Me, YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT!!